Today, I am supposed to be in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. My flight was scheduled just before midnight yesterday. The boy and I planned on traveling together up to Siem Reap, Cambodia. I have been looking forward to it for a long time, but here I am, flightless, in many ways.

The boy put it casually cruel, saying, “I do not feel like leaving,” a couple of days after I returned from Bangkok. I said sure, it is fine. I am a fucking liar. I never brought the trip up again and just took a domestic beach holiday the very next day after his rejection. I am still here, on the second week now.

I contemplated going solo to Ho Chi Minh, but I did not have the heart for it. My baggage seems too heavy to lug around in a foreign country. Funny how the butterflies in your tummy suddenly weigh heavier when they are dead, no?

For now, my passport has a hole the size of the world meant for Vietnam and Cambodia. For now, my heart has a hole meant for I don’t know anymore. The traveling is easy to fix; the other, sometimes there is nothing you can do. Frankly, I feel like I am quite done and all I want is to grab all the chicken nuggets and run.


20 thoughts on “THIS IS NOT VIETNAM

  1. Sorry about your feeling holey in the heart. Happens to me sometimes when it comes to writing. You get excited about a piece but no one else does. Sigh. Please pass the sheep butt . . . (the title of one of my posts.) Thanks for stopping by my blog by the way and liking my recipe for Ground Beef with Kale and Carrots.


  2. Vietnam is a truly wonderful country and that is why I chose to move here 2.5 years ago and I do not regret. I hope you will get to experience this amazing country some day soon.


        1. of course, every place is beautiful and each comes with a unique set of hang ups. well i will let you know once i manage to fly over. you inspire me more because of your affection for the country. thank you!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. Trust your gut and grab your running shoes! The world is out there, there’s no time for anything else. Trust your heart, it knows what’s best for you most of the time. You have a lovely blog btw!


    1. thank you. i try, i really do. am feeling so much better now and have learned and moved on from this experience. many thanks for the visit. please join me in my current wander in cebu city.


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