The bastard that I am did exactly everything wrong during my diving and snorkeling adventure in the town of Tanaw-an, south of Cebu City.
Jesus motherfucking Christ. What is wrong with me?
I FUCKING RIDE ONE INTO BATTLE.
Accidentally. The marine biologist on watch wanted to rip my head off! Who can blame him?
See, the boatmen were trying to help me pose for a good underwater picture. But it was pure, concentrated chaos that one man threw me so hard I ended up straddling the giant whale shark.
When I realized where I was, I let out a pterodactyl screech. Oh my fucking God, I felt like such an uncultured swine, as if I desecrated this incredible creature by making contact. Never have I been so sorry in life.
I should be in jail really. Mind you, from the start, I have always been torn about diving with the whale sharks. The higher part of me suggests I should not support this industry, leave the whale sharks alone and restore the balance of nature.
But I could not help it. I wanted to experience their magic, and I did…
The shame. Fuck my life.