HOW MUCH UNHAPPINESS CAN BOHOL CAUSE ME

 
This feels like the loss of my life, I shit you not. Coming to Bohol, two hours by boat from Cebu, I am a wide-eyed kid looking forward to try and kill myself via a bungee jump called The Plunge in the town of Danao. Obviously, I am writing this, so it did not go right.

Oh, the misery. Insert dying whale noises here. From Alona Beach in Panglao, I called Danao Adventure Park: “Hi, I would like to make the 45 m free fall and eventually die in your 200 m x 300 m bungee jump facility.”

NO.

The Plunge is under maintenance. Complete reconstruction. Cancel your funeral arrangements and come back in August. Maybe we can make something happen. Fuck my life.

Naturally, with setbacks like this, there is only one recourse: curl up with food. Thank God I am brilliant at that. 

  
    
    
 Shout out to Buzz Cafe of Bohol Bee Farm. One bite out of anything from their menu and all your dreams will come true.

Open the door and the smell of carbohydrates hits your face like a brick. Can’t go wrong. Bet they can make potpourri taste good.

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32 thoughts on “HOW MUCH UNHAPPINESS CAN BOHOL CAUSE ME

  1. Oh Shoot! Now you gotta come back in August to die or look for another free fall facility sooner! It’s on my Bucket List too! Maybe we can meet in heaven! LOL!

    Food looks amazing – go for it. Just a quick question… why does the Shawarma joint have a lot of fruits and no shawarma (or did you not click pics of any)

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    1. it is a shawarma and fruit shake place. the shakes are sensational but the shawarma is ordinary. truly heartbreaking, the situation with the bungee jump. how hard must it have to be for a girl to try and suicide?

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              1. Wow…yes i see travelling… but not in the near future… im afraid im trying to cope with everything ive taken on at the moment…plus need to find a job i can put myself to better use in..

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                    1. yes, it is about what works best for you. for example, i am more keen on traveling within my country. our islands are never ending and this is cheaper for me than flying out of the country all the time.

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  2. Oh shit! okay you will just go with me next year if you don’t get a chance this year. That way I wont be peeing my pants alone. Sorry to hear that happened though 😦

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      1. Yes, My family in Bohol, Manila, (someday Mindanao) and my Bicol to spend time with the family of my wife. We are building a house in Bohol as well. We try and visit every two years.

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        1. that is cool. be interesting to turn every island in the bicol region. i have only been to naga and legazpi. obviously there are a handful of gorgeous islands to see there. have you been to catanduanes and caramoan?

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  3. at least you can eat – that’s if you can force yourself to consume food that looks as if it was prepared by Jackson Pollock. Meanwhile, contemplate eternity so you are able to make more sense of it at that moment just before you hit the ground…

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