This feels like the loss of my life, I shit you not. Coming to Bohol, two hours by boat from Cebu, I am a wide-eyed kid looking forward to try and kill myself via a bungee jump called The Plunge in the town of Danao. Obviously, I am writing this, so it did not go right.
Oh, the misery. Insert dying whale noises here. From Alona Beach in Panglao, I called Danao Adventure Park: “Hi, I would like to make the 45 m free fall and eventually die in your 200 m x 300 m bungee jump facility.”
The Plunge is under maintenance. Complete reconstruction. Cancel your funeral arrangements and come back in August. Maybe we can make something happen. Fuck my life.
Naturally, with setbacks like this, there is only one recourse: curl up with food. Thank God I am brilliant at that.
Open the door and the smell of carbohydrates hits your face like a brick. Can’t go wrong. Bet they can make potpourri taste good.