THE CURE FOR ALL ILLS: BACON AND BURGERS

How can you go wrong with bacon and burgers? Let me correct that. How can you go wrong with bacon, sausages, and burgers? 9 out of 10 people believe these cure all ills. The 10th person lied. Obviously. So when the boy picked me up with all the charm of Wednesday Adams due to a knocking viral infection, the solution was transparent.

The Lazy Bastard is located in 22 Jupiter Street, along an area in Makati where the universe is kept turning by rows and rows of glorious food establishments. The Lazy Bastard was unknown to us, and in fact, we would have missed it altogether with its basement address, if not for this enormous red arrow above it, saying ‘BACON AND BURGERS HERE‘. Even from an airplane, I doubt anyone can miss that freaking sign. You can live on the moon and still catch it.

On we go, the boy showing lesser and lesser signs of life. We stared at the menu board for all eternity. Seeking lunch at 1400, my belly people were completely unimpressed. The boy must be seeing stars himself. The server rescued our pathetic asses and we had a cheese bacon burger and classic sausage with tots. Man, grease never felt so right. The boy rescheduled a trip to the underworld, and once more, bacon saved the day.

Interestingly, within the depths of The Lazy Bastard is a secret bar. The entrance mimics an old-fashioned elevator. The server took us on a little tour while waiting for the food. She said we are dropping three floors down and instructed me to hold tightly to my boyfriend. I did nothing. Naturally. The name of the secret bar escapes me but it impresses with an extensive liquor selection and a sleek interior. I would not mind hanging out there, except I do not drink alcohol. Still, the appeal is friendly, very civilized.

Later, we walked out of The Lazy Bastard much cheerful than an hour before. The boy may still be coming down with a cold but I am not worried. It is nothing a little grease won’t fix, fykwim.